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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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10:15 pm - my webjournal moved.
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8:02 pm - i don't want you to know anything about me.
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This Winnemem American Indian guy fighting against a dam in California wore a shirt that said, "Homeland Security: Fighting Terrorism Since 1492."
It was 7:30 when i got home from work tonight. my english class is amazing, just ten or so little sixth graders that i easily worked up an enthusiasm in to write stories whilst playing beethoven. they felt very smart and creative and were, too. i gave them a survey and here are some responses to "name one thing you'd like me to know about you!"
reinerio: i like to sing
david: nothing
stephanie: i am puerto rican and colombian
benigna: i would like you to know is that in mexico they speak a different language
mychele: i just love, love, love, animals!
elvin: i like to go to church.
current mood: in love with kids
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| Monday, September 13th, 2004
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11:54 pm - bush sucks, kids rule
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the front page of the times (online) had a scathing article on bush's environmental policies (or lack thereof). now i can't fall asleep.
it was incredible watching all the little sixth graders march into i.s. 143 today. we stood there with our arms folded across our chests, demanding silence and maturity, half of them scared enough to flee and the other half ready to throw their first stink bomb. i love 'em.
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| Wednesday, September 8th, 2004
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9:08 pm - paul simon needs a new album, please
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right now i feel like that part of graceland lyrics that go
There is a girl in New York City
Who calls herself the human trampoline
And sometimes when I'm falling, flying
Or tumbling in turmoil I say
Oh, so this is what she means
sometimes i don't feel like anybody's lyrics and then i really freak out. it's like my religion doesn't have an answer. (i think that happened at 8:30 am today.)
i'm teaching an english class double period every day this year, in addition to my computer classes, and possibly coming in early to help schedule, and i got a hospital bill for $4,300 that may or may not be covered, and have two lame grad classes this semester, and haven't gotten my tuition voucher yet, and lsats are october 2, then maybe applying to law schools, and hopefully we're recording a cd by the end of this month, and boy is my personal life a newspaper in the rain. i just bought a pair of knee-hair yellow rain galoshes (i'm actually wearing them right now in my pj's cuz i get excited about new purchases).
i look at the "best friends" photo strip of me and my brother stuck on my wall, and think about going AWOL. graceland, perhaps. i'm a lameass to consider complaining about my life. lots of the time i'm so happy i annoy people. i just hate the rain...
current mood: trampolinish
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| Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
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9:47 pm - movin'
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i think i'm moving my webjournal to a new address soon, cuz some search engines have picked it up even though they're not s'posed to. fyi.
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| Monday, September 6th, 2004
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8:43 pm - feels like sunday night
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i'm listening to Kind of Blue in the dark in my sister's scrubs. tomorrow is my first day back at school. i'm not really nervous anymore cuz ms. flores just called and we promised to be bf's again and pass notes during boring meetings tomorrow. i also set two alarm clocks and shaved my legs.
i bonded with my neighborhood today. i bought lemonade from these girls who live in the projects across the street. their mothers were selling it with them, oddly, and we talked about school starting and my apartment building. they were awesome and i've been wanting to make neighborhood friends. i thought $1 was pretty pricey for sidewalk lemonade, but i think it was the best i ever had (came with a slice of lemon in it) or maybe it was the new friends that made it taste so good.
then on my way home from practicing with the love parade, i was walking through tompkins park with my ipod plugged into my head and my violin strapped on my back when i notice this overweight white kid with dreds running at me waving his arms wildly. he was very adorable and lied to me about his age. he wanted me to play fiddle with a couple scrubby boys, one on guitar and one on banjo. i sat around with them in the park awhile, listening, and promised i'd learn some fiddling riffs and meet up with them soon. i shoulda takin info cuz we kinda want a banjo in our band.
adam pointed out an awesome article in the times about bush/kerry by frank rich called "how kerry became a girlie-man" and you should read it. bush and kerry are both disasters but vote for kerry, okay? (ralph, i love you and hurt inside).
current mood: kind of blue
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| Friday, September 3rd, 2004
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1:28 am - i feel like an economic girly-man
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a pal of mine who is far far away pointed out that Kristina's International Day of Solitutude is KIDS. it's perfect.
band practice was really nice tonight. jon makes amazing songs and josh sounds awesome playing his electric over it. i manhandled my violin but it felt so good just to play. right now we're calling ourselves the love parade.
i can't sleep anymore. i don't even mind tonight because i got to talk to sweet tunes instead. plus i'm gonna stay up under my covers and try to catch the big friendly giant blowing dreams into my window. we need to discuss the nightmares i've been having.
i wish i had a toddler. i want to cuddle in bed reading Petunia and Amelia Bedelia and The Little Half Chick by my little lamp and then rub a chubby little head until it falls asleep. and then eat the marshmallows out of a box of fruit loops in the morning and throw the gross oat part away.
current mood: maternal, lonely in a good way, sleepy
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| Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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10:35 pm - sweet tunes
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lori is my ice-cream.
current mood: international day of solitude
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| Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
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9:08 am
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yeah, my shirt did not say "bust must be defeated." it was bush. i'm not editing it cuz we can all have a good laugh.
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| Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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5:02 pm - rnc march
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for a while today i was standing behind a huge barricade of cops at madison square garden, waiting for the protesters to come. they wouldn't let me cross into the street and this republican kid was trying to calm down my fears of getting arrested. but then a cop helped find me a place to sneak through a break in the fence, and there i was, right in front, behind jesse and michael moore (who stopped and left to get a taco!)! i felt like forrest gump, being there on accident.
i never liked jesse jackson until he came marching down the avenue leading thousands of people to come rescue me! he marched with mlk back in the day when things were really really dangerous, so i figured he would know what to do. i give him props cuz i didn't see any other prominent politicians there.
there was no need to worry cuz everything stayed peaceful. i was polling: twice as many black cops smiled at me as white cops, so i like them better. this guy gave me an awesome peace t-shirt and everyone around me was great. it was awesome that it means as much to thousands of people as it does to me and i got a little teary once. i tried to find jon so i could get on cbs news. i was wearing a cute tank top with a "bust must be defeated" sticker (that dan bern made) on the chest just in case. it was even nice to be by myself, thinking and marching, spacing out, sometimes i would think about my band and what i want to do with my life and indiana. sometimes i would smile and give the peace sign to cameras. it was just like my daydreams except real.
current mood: hopeful
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| Saturday, August 28th, 2004
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2:06 am - see, it's not so bad here.
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i have real bad hiccups under my covers but tomorrow should be awesome. i'm only gonna talk about tomorrow cuz i can't digest today yet.
10:30: meet jess at dylan's candy bar because the wonka truck is coming with free candy and a umpa loompa's gonna be there.
12:00: off to the march for women's rights over the brooklyn bridge, where i will pass out flyers for instant runoff voting and protest jerks who want to take away my reproductive rights.
9:30: the dan bern show at joe's pub is sold out but i emailed him and he hooked me up with tix.
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| Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
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7:37 pm - nyc again
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walking down 34th st seeing an old woman struggle to pick something she dropped off the ground made me switch my ipod to some greek music. i don't like how new york accomodates only healthy workhorses and not old people and kids. when i see old people trying to get around here, i always think about popou and yia yia and how much they're responsible for me making it to adulthood without anorexia and a classic american attitude problem.
like margot tenenbaum said, i'm in a rut.
current mood: in a rut!
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| Tuesday, August 24th, 2004
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7:04 pm - duxbury: home of myles standish and king cesar the unrequited lover
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my four days in duxbury, massachusetts:
i read on my favorite couch during a thunderstorm
we walked around barefoot
we made a bonfire on the beach under the stars and roasted marshmallows while jon played the guitar
we had two out-of-control whiffle ball games that ended in tragedy and bitterness
we made awesome dinners and i drank too much wine and hiccuped often
we swam in the horribly terribly f-bombingly cold atlantic ocean
we drove out to the ocean late at night and sat in the lifeguard chair watching a coyote run along the beach
we jumped off the bridge into the river during high tide two days in a row
we played postal service songs and all their reincarnations a lot
we listened to jason tell epic adventures of myles standish
i let a little boy fall into a hole after i told him i loved him
we barbequed swordfish
jon's mom slipped me magazine cut-outs of the hair cuts she wants me to make sure he gets
we yelled at each other about ralph nader, bruce springsteen, and marzipan
we ate too much ice cream
we got sleepy by the fireplace
we blinded dan to take him to the lord of the rings exhibit at the museum of science in boston and it was the dorkiest thing i ever saw
we raided newbury comics only to forget to feed the parking meter
i exorcized the ghosts from the bellinger mansion without telling them and i'm afraid to tell them cuz the ghost maid was very nice
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| Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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5:45 pm - they told me to jump off a bridge and i did
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today i jumped off a bridge in duxbury, ma. i injured my ankle on a rock in the river and bled sufficiently. a seven-year-old girl jumped off the bridge approcksimately twelve times before i did it once. but she did it like it was her job, without pleasure. earlier, i went swimming in the atlantic ocean, where they have these fish called blue fish that are like piranah. jon lost his ring because of his brother, jason, who happens to be right here. we went to a burger place on the beach (i got grilled cheese) "and saw teen girl squadish girls" who blocked us from the catsup. so-and-so from teen girl squad was exactly that: so-and-so (not so great). and they didn't give us tomatos and lettuce even though we paid extra. ok. earlier than that, we played whiffle ball. i don't even want to get into that. i was not pummeled by the brothers bellinger. we all got ice cream but jason got the runs. we went to go buy fishes at the local fish market, which is not as local as they think and then corn from the local corn shack where steven tyler has been but there was no corn left because we think steven tyler recently purchased the corn but i think it's because we're in f-bomb massachusetts and indiana never runs out of corn (jon mouth agape right now, but in greek agape means brotherly love).
jason's moving to nyu next week, jon got his hair cut by grace, kristen got her hair cut a hair dresser, adam is wearing a shirt i bought him and got a home run in whiffle ball, sparky's real name is indiana but they call him that b/c he's gay, jon's mom got leg warmers as a present from me, and i am very happy.
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| Thursday, August 19th, 2004
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7:51 pm - the meij
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have i ever told you about my awful brother? i'm sitting here letting him know i still love him even though he's stupid, which i find out because it takes him eighty years to yahoo what time napolean dynamite's playing, and instead of loving me for my kindness, he grabs me upside down by the feet yelling "who hates to be tickled?" and tickles me domesticly violently. and i'm leaving tomorrow and will miss my tiny little itsy bitsy baby little brother.
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| Monday, August 16th, 2004
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1:11 pm
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my stuff's packed up at lori's ready to go home, or to indiana, and then home, or to new york, or wherever home is, which i don't know. it's not a new idea that home is people, but garden state made me think about it a little more, and so did staying here a week by myself and seeing all these people from before. if home is people, then why do they come and go? maybe they're not supposed to ( see garden state). maybe home is a state of mind and i just haven't been in it for a longass time. like, in a comfortable mind state. maybe that's why i listen to talking head's naive melody ("home is where i want to be, but i guess i'm already there").
but i like how jon and jess and josh and grace and danny and ms. flores call me and are like, "where are you?! get back here!" and it makes me feel loved and i love being in new york, too.
i bet you someday i discover that home for me is some obscure island off the coast of russia and i mail everyone pictures of me forty years old spearing fish with mongolians and teaching them about instant runoff voting.
current mood: homeless
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| Friday, August 13th, 2004
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1:15 pm
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lemon7U2: sample lsat problem: "you are flying in a hot-air balloon over the pacific ocean (bad idea). a rogue wave capsizes a portuguese oil supertanker, spilling it's precious cargo into the sea. flattening the ocean's surface, the oil slick creates an anomalous pocket of low wind resistance, combined with little surface tension. These conditions create a powerful high-temperature updraft column, towards which an ensuing vortex inexorably draws your zeppelin. to solve this situation do you:
a) parachute into the oily sea
b) eat all your food preseves asap, just in case
c) call 30 helens and ask them what to do
d) take a nap
Auto response from knb980: lsats are confusing. maybe i'm not logical!
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| Thursday, August 12th, 2004
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11:31 pm - i need to get some sleep
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i deleted an entry i put up today. it was stupid. i don't write anymore. until a year ago i did nothing but write. and then it dwindled. and now it's gone. and i'm studying for the lsats.
i just saw garden state and it was good. it was a slice of going home, which is why it's good and not great. i keep talking to friends in chicago that i haven't seen in so long about how they're floating, and how it's okay sometimes, but frustrating, and how life is in sections, not momentous, life-changing decisions. and stuff. i'm not worried about the next decision i make.
everywhere i go feels like an airport. the movie theatre did. indiana is flat like one. makes me feel like my flight was delayed.
current mood: like viktor navorksi
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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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1:53 pm - traffic jam
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i'm jealous i won't be in nyc for this kerry benefit, starring yo la tengo, eliot spitzer, and rachel dratch (snl). not so much for kerry, but for rachel dratch.
otherwise, i'm happily in chicago. i'm staying at lori's, right by watertower and the lake. lori isn't here. she's in london. i'm watering her plants. her doorman is my second favorite person ever.
i haven't written cuz the longer i wait the more stuff happens and it's a traffic jam in my head and no stoplights! like, this morning greg came over and we went jogging on the lake, which was disastrous for my little legs keeping up, and andy and keegan aren't at second city anymore and it's not as funny and today i bought two green peppers and two tomatoes from the farmer's market outside of the museum of contemporary art, and used my dad's sub club card that i stole from him, and last week dan was here too and me and him and kim and greg went to the hideout and then to greg's to watch dr. strangelove but i fell asleep right away and saturday night was deme's engagement party and the dessert was amazing and kristina gross's fiancee is awesome and from serbia, and my ipod is my first favorite person ever, and dan bought it for me for our one year anniversery, and i bought him a dvd that he already had, but he was sad one time two weeks ago cuz i was in the hospital cuz of food in mexico and i took too much immodium ad for the plane and then my tummy hurt like a mf! and they put a tube up my nose down to my stomach and i was crying and choking so the doctor felt bad and took it out and i stayed over night and watched E! entertainment television and made best friends with my nurse, claire, who was excited that i wasn't old, and then the next day was my sister's engagement party and my dad made a speech and mispronounced eric's last name! and dan met 30943530 greek people and not-greek people and doesn't remember anybody's names, and i made a neopet with the flower girls, and that all happened in indiana like the day me, dan, and alexis went to the waterpark and the tube rides were awesome! but alexis yelled at me cuz she's high-strung like that and i'm studying for the lsats now, which kinda stinks, cuz games are really hard, and dan's in vermont far away, but on the 20th i'm going to boston! and i saw harold and kumar with my old roomie kate and dan in heavenston and it was so funny, but it is mean to asian girls and that's not cool but i still have a bunch of peeps in chicago to hang out with and i can't wait. today i'm meeting up with kim but it's too bad the weather isn't nice.
and i miss dan. he's so useful for sleeping on when in transit. and eating cheeze-its with. and him and my pops like to hang out and watch bad movies like braveheart, during which i get a foot rub and a head rub at the same time.
it's weird to be here and think back to mexico, where everything was so different. it seemed quieter, but maybe that's because i didn't speak everyone's language. at the pyrimind, everyone had this little flute whistle that was pretty in the quiet air and i wish i bought one now.
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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10:46 am - on the plane back from mexico
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i'm listening to sting. not just any sting--airplane sting, headphones plugged into my arm rest. "fields of gold" on aeromexico with a big blue-black wall of cloud on the edge of sunset lit up sometimes by flash lightening. the shrink-wrapped brownie was disgusting but the lightening made me believe in god. yia yia gets to see that 24-7.
dan just spilled honey mustard sauce.
so they don't have burritos in mexico, except at cafe sasha, and sasha, by the way, is super cool. she learned cooking at kendell college, just a block away from my northwestern, and we both found ourselves in taxco, an old town built on a mountainside known for silver mining. she started a hippie restaurant. i was exploring. she was the first time i've heard "i'm not making much money at all, but, you know, at least i'm not working for the man" in years. i loved her before i met her.
i have several theories about rich, resident-american-jewelry-trader of taxco. he's either european or gay, so, gay. other theories include: he's been ruined by heart break or can't return to the states (he visits) because of criminal activity (did he kill someone? drug exports?). he's dying of aids, and enters building contests at age 54 to fight off death. i can't put together the earring, his tattoos of his daughter's and grandaughter's names, the spandex tight shirts, my dad's age, the leathery-hallowed skin, and the zero-percent body fat. he laughs at me, not with me, but showed us around the town, popped up to the roof to chat whenever we were there, and bought us awesome exotic juice concoctions from the cute chubby juice man. he lives alone in 4 bedrooms of a town that falls asleep at 8. get up at 4 to run. rich.
i don't like the rules of mexico city. don't get in the green taxis. don't walk on empty streets. don't look american. after 8, when the streets are all empty (except in zona rosa), when there were nothing but green cabs. i maintain i look mexican. i like xochimilco, where we rode gondolas down the canal and another gondola cooked us tacos and those mexican boys posed for my camera as they cannon-balled into the water. i loved the diego rivera mural that rockefellar tore down at radio city. diego rebuilt it. it showed starving american workers and rich elite women playing cards and socialists marching and science and biology and man at the crossroads. it was so obvious and big that it was awesome that he put it in new york and even the obviousness and bigness was beautiful. i can't believe he repainted it. i think him and frida are the craziest couple ever and i love them. one time noel wanted to borrow my dvds at school and he told me he'd trade me frida for them to borrow. i said "you have frida" and then "wait--how'd you know i like frida?" and then "wait--why does a six ft two b-ball playing boy have frida?" he was laughing at me. "it's my mom's. i know frida's your thing."
jessica simpson is singing "take my breath away" from my arm rest and there's a little bit of throw up in my mouth, to quote dodgeball, like me, dan, and adam did for 5 days straight in the mountains of maine.
i liked climbing the third largest pyrimid in the world, even though it was the pyrimid del sol, and i cursed the "untannable, bullshit sun" right before i climbed it, and at noon! i challenge the sun god, and all gods, cuz their names sound like std's, like hermes and chlamydia. and neil young in my headphones, "The people worked together
And they lifted many stones. They carried them to the flatlands and they died along the way. But they built up with their bare hands what we still can't do today."
oh my gods. "maps" by the yeah yeah yeahs in one. fly aeromexico.
i like watching misfit american movies like "gladiator" (another one, starring cuba gooding, jr about boxing)and "the cable guy" in room B of the san javier hotel while we struggled with the digestive effects of mexican liquids and their rough fired tacos. wilson phillips!
i loved the dirty little skinny boy in taxco who tried to sell me a fake spider on a wire. i gave him a dollar and wouldn't take the spider. i wanted to take hiim home, give him a bath, and watch "finding nemo" dubbed in spanish while snuggling. he was probably three years old and smart as a whip. i never saw him on the streets again. another boy said " buy bracelet, lady!" and i said, "no, gracias," and he said "yes!" and i said "no!" "yes!" "if you were 15 years older, i'd kick you in the balls!" (kidding).
"runaway train." i'm getting sad now. the cat in the hat (2003) is on. should i be watching it?
i liked being amongst millions of mexicans. the ones on tv looked white. the ones in the slums we passed on the bus, in just shacks wihthout running water or sometimes walls, looked aztec, short, brown, long-nosed. the little girls with somooth, shiny, strong black ponytails swinging as they played, and the shriveled old men and women who smiled at me, amused. i liked the mexicans who offered help to me and dan on trains, while we squinted to see the map with all the stops on it, or the mexican who pointed towards the embarcadero without us even asking. i miss the old lady who offered me cookies after i watched her purse for her, which she asked me to do in spanish and the reason i knew what she was talking about was because she grabbed her cane and inched away, leaving her purse with me. there were mountains with the clouds below us even though we were on the ground. trains where the whole car stared at us.
i have to use the lavatory and i'm two people away from the isle. i can crawl over dan but the woman with the gi-normous breasts is going to be a problem.
viva revolution!
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